lots of words kinda word vomity sorry (would this be considered a vent? idk..)

im lying in bed as writing this

my parents have been talking about moving in the past few months, and yesterday we found the house we are going to move into (woo!!)

i always hated the idea of moving. i mean, i've moved houses before, but i was too young to even remember any of it. i'm super excited about where we are moving to though. it's just outside of my town quiet and there is a forest a little ways away from it (saw two deer while viewing the house), and i get to have a bigger room and a closet!

but i'm lying here now, i was looking up at my ceiling because i couldn't sleep. i was staring and the cracks in the paint, the glow in the dark stars, my ceiling fan, the weird textured carpet that i love

its so stupid but it makes me sad knowing i wont live in this house anymore, imagining other people living in it, the strange yet comforting house smell whenever you return home after a long time being different. the house itself being changed until everything becomes nearly unrecognizable.

knowing where to step going down the stairs and memorizing each of the floorboards so you can avoid them so they don't creak. sitting outside the back deck listening to the pigeons fly around as the church bell rings. the sound of the front door opening and closing. the weird front porch smell whenever my dad asks me to grab the mail.

a piece of my soul and heart will always be in this home, wether i want it to be or not.

i don't really see my friends much so i don't really get to talk about these kinds of things a lot, so writing all this out made me feel a little better about moving into a new home. 💙

anyways i need to go to bed i got school tomorrow ty for reading that mess of words if you did